RCRG - Blog - On Kindness
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RCRG Blog

On Kindness

Published April 23, 2017

If ever there was an appropriate time to reflect on kindness, it's National Volunteer Week. After all, volunteers are nothing if not kind. (Of course, they're also compassionate, dedicated, caring, helpful, and totally awesome, but we digress.) Kindness, though, is a tricky thing. Often, we think of it as being directed towards others. But, as RCRG General Manager Jocelyn Wong points out, for kindness to spread, it must be directed inward as well. 

Kindness 
ˈkīn(d)nəs/
noun
the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate 

I’m not sure where to begin, but somehow I feel the need to write about kindness. Why? Well, I have been spending the better part of the last three years reflecting on things happening around the world, in our country, backyard, and to me personally. What I keep coming back to is kindness. 

Speaking for myself, I feel I am in the constant state of being on the defense. Defending my own views, beliefs, actions, and pretty much everything that I do. When someone is not kind to me then I’m not kind to them, but does that solve the problem? Often it does not, and leaves it in a worse position. 

Being on the defense is a way to protect myself and those that I care about, but I often look back and think if I handled it with more kindness and compassion, the outcome may have been different. Does responding in a manner that is more considerate mean I am giving up my values and beliefs? It does not; I think it makes them stronger. This realization, of course, is nothing ground breaking, nor something I didn’t know. What I struggle with is changing my behaviour in the moment to respond in a manner that is more compassionate. 

I have found that I have more patience now that I am a mom. I get to see every day how my actions – often good, sometimes not so good – affect others, and in the not so good moments I still receive unconditional forgiveness and kindness. My kids put me back into a space where I remind myself that I model how they will react to people and situations. I want them to treat others with kindness even when they may not receive it back, and to respond in kindness because I know how that simple gesture can turn a situation around. But more importantly, I want them to be kind to themselves. 

This made me realize how I never thought about being more kind to myself. If it is so important to me that they be kind to themselves, why have I never thought about that for me? I spend a lot of time thinking about how to share kindness and be more kind to others; my career is all about being kind and helping others, so why not me? 

I’m not sure I have the answer to that. I think I feel like I’m not supposed to be kind to myself. In fact, I feel guilty about it – silly, I know. However, I have noticed that when I am kind to me, I am in a better place to be kind to others.

I’m not talking about big expensive gifts for myself, but things that make me happy. The extra five minutes in the shower with no screaming kids; going for a run; baking and crafting are little ways to be kind to me. Finding a way to share handmade kindness is a way to be kind to me and others, so it is a win-win.  

In the spirit of National Volunteer Week, I want to say thank you to all the volunteers who share their kindness because, without you, I truly believe there would be no hope in this complicated world we live in. Take a little time and be kind to yourself!